“Don’t worry, you can’t crush a soul here. That’s what life on earth is for.” -22 in Disney Pixar’s Soul.
This quote from the underrated 2020 Disney classic is accurate on multiple levels. In fact, one of the most soul crushing activities in work life can be goal setting. And guess what…it’s that time of year again when many finalize goals for the upcoming 12 month cycle.
Much is written on the science of goal setting1 and the importance of building habits and routines that allow us to sustain our effort towards achieving goals.2
From my work with leaders in all walks of life (from CEOs to classroom teachers to scientists), I’ve found there is one often overlooked reason why people and organizations fail to achieve goals: their goals lack soul.
What do I mean by “Goals with Soul”?
“Goals with soul” are goals that a) appeal to our core motivations, b) bring the sizzle and c) require/inspire support from our community to achieve them.
Appealing to our core motivations
Appealing to our core motivations is VERY different than much of the shallow motivational tools that rely on charismatic teachers and inspirational memes. It requires you to know yourself (and your team) and tailor goals accordingly.
When it comes to goal setting, one particular theory has strong psychological and neuroscience backing. It is called approach-avoidance motivation.3 The basics of the theory are that some people are more motivated by reward and gains (approach), while others are more motivated by fear of loss or failure (avoidance). Neuroscience research shows these motivation pathways in our brains are stable over time. What this means is that goals will be most effective when framed in the way that is consistent to our predominant system (approach or avoidance).
For example, the same end goal can be framed very different for an approach-oriented versus an avoidance oriented person:
Approach: Provide real-time positive and constructive feedback weekly to each member of my team in order to increase the number of people that actively want to work for me.
Avoidance: Provide real-time positive and constructive feedback weekly to each member of my time in order to ensure I don’t lose strong performers to other departments.
Bring the sizzle
Our brains are inundated with information and priorities. To set goals with soul, you have to make goals as memorable as possible. This will ensure that you start the year with them top of mind, keep them front and center when things get hard and end the year with them in sight during final push toward the finish line.
The best ways to do that are a) to use emotionally resonant language4 and b) to make goals as tangible as possible.
In fact, neuroscience research suggests that the best way to make goals memorable is to make them tangible by connecting them to action.5
Require/Inspire support from your community
The reason I continue to come back to the concept of soul is that across faith traditions, philosophies and modern thinking, it is both about the individual AND their connectedness to others.
In the case of goal pursuit, many fail to enlist others. Setting goals with soul relies upon identifying and gaining support with those in your community that have the influence to help you achieve your goal. It also means having peers who will hold you accountable and check-in on your progress.
So how can we set “Goals with Soul”? Here are three tips:
Interrogate your goals. After identifying an initial set of goals6, take the time to evaluate each goal using "why" and "how" questions. "Why" questions help you to connect more closely to motivation and your larger abstract desires. "How" questions help to make goals more concrete and tangible.7
Engage the heart and the body (not just the mind). After interrogating your goals, read them again and ask yourself “How will I feel if I have achieved this goal at the end of the year?” Take the time to envision yourself and your specific feeling on December 31 next year knowing you have accomplished this goal. If it doesn’t resonate, there is a good chance that you either need to scrap the goal or frame it differently (remember approach vs. avoidance). Another good test is to see if your instinctual center - your gut - has a positive reaction to the goal. To know whether this is the case, it can sometimes be helpful to recall a previous goal when you knew instinctually that you wanted it. You can use this previous feeling as a litmus test against the current goals you are setting.8
Enlist your “instrumental others.” According to neuroscientist, Dr. David Rock, our relationships are the “most important forces that maintain or derail goals…because people are the most powerful contextual influences on us.” What this means is that we need to seek out and engage people who can be instrumental in helping us to achieve our goals. Neuroscience research has shown these “instrumental others” help us learn faster (especially from mistakes) and enable us to tap into other elements of motivation. One particularly important “instrumental other” is a teacher - someone with expertise in an area that is required to achieve your goal. Seek these people out and engage them creatively.9
I hope this reflection will be instructive for those of you that plan to finalize goals over the coming days. Next week I’ll share some thoughts on steps to take (early in the year) to pursue your goals with soul.
Some questions I reflected on this week:
What are my goals for 2023?
If I envision myself on December 31, 2023 and I have achieved most of these goals, how will I feel?
Who are the “instrumental others” for each of these goals?
An instructive summary primer on the science of goals is contained in this paper by David Rock and Elliott Berkman. They both summarize recent findings in science of goals and offer their own integrated framework of goal pursuit. While it has a clever pneumonic (AIM), I find it really hard to remember exactly what the arcane words they use actually mean (Antecedents, Integration, Maintenance). That said, you’ll note that their thinking has greatly influenced this Friday Reflection as well as my general perspective on goal setting. Lastly, as they point out, the concept of SMART goals is over 40 years old and yet it continues to be the predominant framework for goal setting. This is not to say that the SMART framework is not helpful, just that it is incomplete and outdated.
James Clear’s Atomic Habits is one of the best articulations of how to build habits and how “automating” behavior increases the likelihood that we achieve our desired goals.
I’ve written more on the importance of “Bringing the Sizzle” in this Friday Reflection.
This study sheds some light on how this process works in our brain.
I like to start my goal setting process by thinking about 4 categories: 1) Loved Ones, 2) Professional, 3) Health (Physical/Mental/Spiritual), and 4) Community. The order of these four areas is intentional given my current state in life. It may evolve over time. For professional, I aim to have no more than 3 goals. For the other three areas, I aim to have no more than two goals. I’m not sure exactly why I have settled on these numbers, but it works for me. Some people I have shared my goals with can find it odd that I set specific goals for how I show up for my loved ones (for me this means family). My logic is that the intentionality of goal pursuit can help me to be a better father, dad, son, brother and friend. Relatedly, the process of interrogation really helps me to hone each goal so that I can land on what is most important to me.
A more detailed psychological underpinning for this approach can be found in Carver and Schier’s work here.
One model I like comes from Tim Ferriss’s book The 4-Hour Chef. In short, he recommends “finding an expert, not necessarily the best in the world, but someone near the top. Give them a reason for talking to you, because asking for a favor isn't a compelling pitch. Ask questions, such as how they would train someone who's poorly suited for something, who the best little-known teachers are, and what an eight-week training course for someone with a million dollars on the line would look like.”