If the “battery” for my energy level had a reading right now, it would look like:
How does yours look? Red also?
The burdens of leadership can be punishing on our physical, mental, relational and spiritual health. If your commitments allow for it, the end of the year is an opportune time to re-charge your battery. (I also acknowledge that for many others, the end of the year is fraught with overwhelming amounts of responsibility and at times, painful loneliness.)
Sixteen years ago, after my first 3 months as an ESL teacher in Harlem, I went home over the holidays feeling disillusioned and dejected. The first couple months in the classroom had challenged me in ways I had never been challenged. My students weren't learning at the pace they needed to be and my classroom management was inconsistent - I felt I was failing as a teacher. Up to this point, I had been known as the optimist, the guy who never fails, the high energy guy…but I came home and was a cloud of negativity.
After a day or two of watching me mope around, my dad, in a firm, yet loving way told me “Son, get your head right.” After my initial anger wore off, I took to heart his admonishment. I went back to the writing of poets and leaders that inspire me such as Maya Angelou:
“There is, I hope, a thesis in my work: we may encounter defeats, but we must never be defeated.”
In fact, that week I created the initial pages of my “resiliency armor,” a collection of inspiring quotes and lines from poetry that help me rejuvenate my positivity.
After a week of spending time with family and friends, rest and re-setting my mind (and if I am honest, getting smoked by my brother in basketball), I went back to New York, resolved to turn things around. Fast forward to the end of the school year and my students on average had made two years of progress in one year.
If I had not had the time to re-charge, I am fairly certain this outcome for my students and for me would have been very different.
The “actions” we can take to re-charge fall into 4 buckets that I like to remember with the acronym CARE:
C - Community: Time with friends, loved ones and in and around communities you care about and that you feel connected to.
A- Activities that inspire joy: games, creative endeavors, reading for pleasure, movies, concerts or anything you that puts a smile on your face
R - Rest: sleep and digital sabbath
E - Exercise: both physical (e.g. movement like strength, endurance/cardio, or flexibility) and mental (e.g. reflection, sitting meditation, walking meditation, journal writing, reading poetry)
While these four are intuitive, I have one twist for you on “Community.” The tendency when we “re-charge” can be to focus on our internal well-being; however, both ancient wisdom and modern psychology research point to the way that serving others can uplift our spirits. From Proverbs (“He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed) to the Tao Te Ching (“The more one helps others, the more he benefits himself.) The key here is to be what Adam Grant calls, an otherish giver instead of a selfless giver. Otherish givers distinguish themselves from selfless givers, because 1) they know their limits and 2) they’ve learned to successfully navigate a world with takers, so others don’t take advantage of them.
The good news is that you don’t have to do activities from all four CARE categories to reap the benefits of a re-charge. You can start by prioritizing one hour each day over the next week or by experimenting with a full day digital sabbath. Just begin and “get your head right!”
A few questions that I considered for this reflection:
What might be the cost to me and to others that count on me if I don’t take the time to re-charge?
What actions have been most helpful to me in the past when I have needed to re-charge? (consider CARE)
Given all of the demands on my time, what will it take for me to prioritize making time for “re-charging” over the next week? (e.g. start with 1 hour per day)
Holiday Bonus: Re-charging Resources
Community
Be intentional about making plans with 2-3 people or communities that you draw energy from
Activities that inspire joy
Make a list of the activities where you lose track of time and you feel free to be yourself. Do at least one of them over the next week. My wife is one of the best at this - for her it’s roller skating and surfing - the smile on her face when she is doing one of these activities radiates joy.
Definitive ranking of Marvel movies - ok this may just be for me…
Rest
The Power of a Digital Sabbath by Brad Feld
Toolkit for Sleep by Dr. Andrew Huberman
Exercise - physical
Nike Training Club App - free quick HIIT workouts
Exercise - mental
Make a playlist of five songs where each of the songs have meaning to you (e.g. they remind you a loved one or they stir your soul). Listen to this playlist each morning.
Poetry: For One Who is Exhausted by John O’Donohue
Meditation: Insight Timer App
Pema Chodron - An interview on preparing for difficult times
Providing Perspective: The Liberation of Cosmic Insignificance Therapy
Gratitude Makes Us Joyful by Brené Brown
The Art of Worldly Wisdom by Baltasar Gracian - a less well-known book I turn to often for wisdom and insight
Poetry: Selection of Poems by Amanda Gorman
Poetry: Optimism by Jane Hirshfield